A couple years ago I noticed something I couldn't shake. I had people in my phone, things on my calendar, a life that looked full from the outside, but I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt really connected to anyone. Not small talk. Not a quick check-in. Real connection.
Once I started paying attention, I realized I wasn't the only one feeling that way. I'd bring it up at coffee shops, with coworkers, with people I'd just met, and almost everyone said some version of the same thing. They were busy. They had people in their phones. But the kind of friendship where someone actually knew them just wasn't there. When I'd ask what had happened, the answers all started sounding the same. They'd moved and never quite clicked with anyone new. They'd watched old friendships slowly fade out. They'd realized somewhere along the way that nobody ever teaches you how to make friends as an adult.
While I was trying to figure it out for myself, I went looking for resources. Most of what I found was either too clinical, too corporate, or trying to sell me on becoming a more optimized version of myself. None of it fit the moment a lot of us are actually living in. After enough conversations, the same thing kept coming back to me.
The more I sat with that, the more it made sense. We're not short on information. We're short on a place to start, a reason to show up, and a few people willing to show up with you.
So I'm building it. Friends Ahoy is a free tool that gives you an honest read on how you connect. You take the Crew Role Quiz and get your Connection Profile: your Crew Role, where your friendships are running thin, and one small thing to try this week. The Islands take it into the things you already do, like gaming, reading or walking the dog, and show where friendships tend to start there and what gets in the way. Underneath all of it are the 5 Pillars of Connection Health. Then the real work happens where it always has, in your own life, with people you already know or keep running into. Friends Ahoy doesn't run groups or events, and it doesn't introduce anyone to anyone. It shows you where you stand and what to try next, then gets out of the way.
What you won't find here
- Dating or romance matching. This is strictly platonic.
- Networking. Your job title won't help you here.
- Therapy, coaching, or anything pretending to replace them.
- A feed built to keep you scrolling.
- A sign-up wall. The Connection Profile is free, and you don't need an account.
- A guru. I'm figuring this out alongside you.
I'm not a therapist. I'm not a researcher. I'm a person who felt the thing a lot of us are feeling, did the work to understand it, listened to a lot of people who were generous enough to tell me the truth, and decided to build something instead of waiting for someone more qualified to show up.
If that's enough for you, I'm glad you're here. If it isn't, that's fair. Come back when we've built the proof.
Ready to Be Part of Something?
Take the quiz, explore the Islands, or just keep reading. There's no wrong way in.